I had to link to this. I can sum up how I (and most white people I know) live in Graham's words:
I’ve got a lot of black friends who have accomplished great things in the arts and music world, in the business world, the legal profession, the medical profession…and not one of them has ever expected anything from me other than to be a good friend. I celebrate the achievements of all my friends with love and support and good cheer, and with absolutely no patronizing overt or subliminal addendum of how wonderful you did all this “and you’re a black man, too! Amazing!” I don’t compartmentalize my friends based on their skin color, ethnicity, religious affiliation, political leanings or sexual preference. We’re all just people, period.
I will not apologize for that or for some percieved racial sin of my ancestors.